December 11, 2008

Date------Day----WBC----ANC--------Hgb--------PLT---- Transfusions
1 Dec------90----3.4------2,270------10.0--------255------------N/A
2 Dec------91----4.0------3,500------10.5--------250------------N/A
3 Dec------92----5.0------4,400-------9.5--------183------------N/A
4 Dec------93----4.4------3,800-------9.2--------196------------N/A
5 Dec------94----3.5------3,400-------9.3--------170------------N/A
6 Dec------95----3.9----Unknown----9.9--------175------------N/A
8 Dec------97----2.9------2,600------9.8--------106------------N/A
11 Dec-----100---0.3----------0-------9.1---------31------------N/A

My counts are in and as you can see they are dropping, except my Hemoglobin, it is holding pretty steady on its own. My neutraphils are nonexistent at the moment, so I am on "extra super safe mode". I can't believe I hit my Nader so fast again this time. It surprises me that the neupogen shots are not giving me a boost I need, I can only imagine how fast it would have happened if I was not taking them.

My Platelets as you can see are dropping as well, it is only Thursday & I do not get labs drawn again until Monday. It is questionable if I am going to be able to make it through the weekend without a platelet infusion but I am going to try. I suspect if I can make it, by Monday they should be practically non existent. It sounds weird but I am comfortable enough with this cancer & my body that I can tell when they get to low without the lab report. There are the obvious physical signs between the bruising, the petechiae rash & bleeding gums, when it is coming I can just tell even without that, all I can say is its weird.

So I know Aunt Lynn is probably reading this & saying so why not get the infusion now if you know you are going to get that low.... Well part of me beating this cancer, is me beating this cancer. I am trying to push my body to do what it is supposed to even though it does not want to. I know I can't control these things down at the cellular level in my body, but it is my body & like me it is very stubborn. I don't want to give it more than what it needs to get the job done. For example my Hemaglobin, since I have started my consolidated chemo I have been within the parameters to receive a blood infusions & told them no I wanted to try & make it on my own & oddly enough my body complied. I never push it to a dangerous level, not to mention my Dr.s would not let me. So I am going to wait this one out & see what happens.

My vision is actually doing better this time, I was worried because I have soft white auras around everything I look at but it is not drastic like the last time.

Last night we went to Brandon's wrestling match here in London. He wrestled the 160 weight class. He was tech faulted the first match against Hillsboro & won his second match against Clinton Massi. Brandon looked real tired though, he is not in as good of shape as he used to be & it showed. Don't get me wrong there is not any fat on that kid & he is in a hell of a lot better shape than most but you can tell a difference from his 8th & 9th grade wrestling days. He wrestles tonight at Jonathan Alder & then they have a big break.

I got a phone call with wonderful news from Maj Mulhorn at my Unit yesterday. " HQ AFRC/SG has approved MSgt Golden-Vest for a "Participation Profile 4" while her treatment and worldwide duty waiver are being processed." So all you non-military people are asking so what does that mean. In it's simplest form I can start going to Drill & complete my annual tour days. My waiver expires at the end of March 2009 so they will have to re access me then. Up to this point since I was diagnosed I have not been allowed to participate even if my counts were up & I was feeling good. Maj Mulhorn said the unit is going to work with me to schedule my drill periods around my treatments & recovery periods, so this is wonderful news to me. My military career has been weighing heavily on my mind since the whole cancer thing happened so this is a big stress that has been lifted for the moment.

The other night the doorbell rang & it was a box of Cheryl Cookies from my Aunt Sue & Uncle David, Thank you! Zack was quite the little gentleman. He carried the box around to everyone (he went to Grandma/Misty first). Once everyone got a cookie only then did he get one for himself. It was too cute! So far this week has had all white days at school, no trouble, Whew!Each day after school he has his routine of taking off his coat & shoes then telling me who in his class had color changes on their chart & who got red & then he smiles real big with his big dimples showing & says I got white! He loves to show off his school papers & reads me his daily book. To be that young again, the older kids don't get excited to show us their homework, or tell us what kind of day they had.


I was able to get our Christmas cards figured out, we still have not done a family portrait so I had to get a little creative this year. With my Chemo Brain this was a major task.

I found out this morning MSgt Bill Larue from my Unit is coming home, he is a good friend & has been deployed since this summer for Operation Iraq Freedom/Operation Enduring Freedom, I am looking forward to welcoming him home.

With my Nader being in full effect I am not certain how my weekend is going to go. Marc & I still have Christmas shopping to do, there are holiday parties for Missing Link & ORW so I think we are just going to have to take it day by day & play it by ear.

So to calm all your fears because I can hear it in the comments now, I will not push myself to hard, I will take it nice & easy.