December 9, 2008

The weather has went from one extreme to another here. Where it was cold & icy last Saturday, today it is unseasonably warm in the high 40's & very wet.

I woke up this morning to the beginning stages of white out/tunnel vision. I was hoping that it was a one time freak occurrence with the last round. I suspect at the rate I am going, by tomorrow or Thursday I will not be able to see at all again. I did go in & see my Opthamologist . He still believes that I have Cornea dystrophy but that the vision problems I am currently having are unrelated to the dystrophy & it was a fluke that he caught it. He said the dystrophy may be an issue when I reach 50. He believes the tunnel vision/white out is directly related to my Chemo treatments, it is affecting my ability to lubricate my eyes, he said this should not cause any long term damage but they are keeping a close eye on it LOL.

This week should get real interesting, I won't be able to see & I am much weaker than last time, I have been hobbling around like an old woman. Literally every move I make you can hear my bones & joints cracking. It's pretty loud Marc thought it was the floor making the noise last night.

I look at my Blog everyday for the comments & to see the different locations people from around the world are checking up on me from. I am so encouraged by the number of visits my site has received. There are days this all still seems surreal to me, usually its the good days. The not so good days there really is no way to deny it.

Sending a huge thank you out to Sharon White for her very generous donation to my Leukemia Fund. Each time we get a donation whether it is large or small it never ceases to amaze me. Times are tough, people are being laid off from their jobs, the cost of gas is down but the cost of milk is up.

Marc & I sat down tonight to look at where we are at financially with treating my cancer. Once I was diagnosed the original plan was to try & raise $2500 this year. We based this amount on what we each had in both of our savings accounts. We assumed that would be enough for the medical deductibles & copy's so we tapped those instantly, thank god we had something put back. I think I said this in a previous post but when this bomb dropped we had no idea what we were going to have to foot upfront, what would be covered by my insurance, what would not be covered by insurance & the prescription costs. We have just started to complete the 3rd phase of my inpatient chemotherapy treatment.

Realistically best I can tell, it is costing us a little over $2500 upfront as I go through each phase of treatment (& this is with, in my opinion, pretty good insurance). I have not had any major complications (knock on wood). So at this point I am adjusting our fundraising goal to $5,000. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a realist first so when I set the original goal I did not want to set one that was unrealistic. Now I must say that everyone who knows me, would tell ya in the past I have also been an adamant pessimist. So I can't believe that we have almost surpassed the original fundraising goal I set. Among other things I have since had to change my way of looking at life, being a pessimist is one thing I will not miss.

As we continue to fight this cancer, we really have no idea what that dollar amount is going to be when we start the 42 weeks of outpatient chemotherapy. No matter how much that amount may be, it really does not matter much because I know I am worth it. All of you are responsible in one form or another for me being here now through your prayers, your support, the donations you all are saving my life & I just want you all to know that we really do appreciate everything that everyone is doing for us.