9 Days until Christmas!
Date------Day----WBC----ANC--------Hgb--------PLT---- Transfusions
3 Dec------92----5.0------4,400-------9.5--------183------------N/A
4 Dec------93----4.4------3,800-------9.2--------196------------N/A
5 Dec------94----3.5------3,400-------9.3--------170------------N/A
6 Dec------95----3.9----Unknown----9.9--------175------------N/A
8 Dec------97----2.9------2,600------9.8--------106------------N/A
11 Dec-----100---0.3----------0-------9.1----------31--------------N/A
15 Dec-----104---0.4----------0-------7.8-----------2-----------1 Unit Platelets
16 Dec-----105---0.4----------0-------7.3-----------3-1 Unit Blood & 1 Unit Platelets
On the 9th day of Christmas my cancer gave to me a crappy lab report & a whole day at the hospital!
I really need to vent a little so I don't hold all this in. I was so bummed to see this mornings lab report, I only gained 1 Platelet from my entire infusion yesterday. I should have known this though. When I got home all of the signs were there... My petechiae rash got much worse on my hands & my right ankle looks like it was tied up or something. My stomach look terrible from my injection site bruises, one of which is about the size of a softball. When you add this to the red petechiae where there was once white skin, it looks like the rest of my stomach went many years as a bar room dart board. I have multiple bruises on the rest of my body to, there are just to many to mention, so I am highlighting the newest ones. My mouth is a mess. I have 7 at last count hematomas in my mouth that keep busting & bleeding. I am sure there are more than that in my GI tract. it is so hard to feel like a woman right now. Every time I look in the mirror with this bald head it just pisses me off. I hate this, I just hate the whole thing. This is the ugly side of cancer that your not supposed to talk about, or that no one really wants to hear about. I am hoping someday I am going to look back at this moment & say I was such a whiner today but, today I don't care I think I have earned the right to whine every now & then. I do try to be positive I really do, but I looked in the mirror when I got home after being at the hospital for over 7 hours just to get 2 infusions & the person looking back at me I didn't even recognise, so part of it made me cry & the other part just pissed me off.
I am going to blame my outburst on being nuts because I literally did not sleep at all last night, that is a good an excuse as any I suppose. I took to oxycodones last night because the bone pain got so bad, I figured for sure they would knock me out. I was so tired but I just couldn't fall asleep.
Zack just walked in & told me he got on White today & gave me a big kiss. That kid can brighten anyone's day. How can I keep wallowing in self pity & gripe when he is such a huge motivational factor.
I have to go to the James tomorrow for Clinic, I am a little nervous that they are going to admit me because my Neutraphils have been at zero for so long & the neupogen shots are not working. I have to be there at 8:30am, I hope I am able to get some sleep tonight.
For some reason my camera card reader is not working on Marc's computer so I can't upload any of my photo's from today!
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5 comments:
Hi Babe,
You are aloud to vent & whine all you want or need to but I am very glad that Zack is able to bring you some smiles back to your face. Yea Zack for a white day...wooo hoooo!!! And, I know the hospital is not where you want to be but if it helps you beat this then so be it, you can do it. We deal with a few Alpaca breeders and I spoke to one today that takes the fur and makes scarfs, hats & mittens out of it so I asked her to make a hat for you too help keep your head warm this winter. The fur is supposed to be non allergenic and it is extremly soft, Dr Kim has some mittens & they're nice. The lady making the hat wanted to know your name so she could pray for you while she's making it, she's gonna put a mojo on the hat to help you get better. Although it won't be done by Christmas I will send it to you as soon as she gets it done. You keep your head up girly cause you will get through this. I love you & I'll talk to you soon.
Aunt Lynn
Actually I'm pissed to......so now you at least you have one other person that is pissed right along with you !!!! You hang in there Babe....I think the hat is a beautiful idea....
hi honey, you can be as pissed off as you want to be ,you have every right.if they need to admit you to get those counts moving it will be ok.maybe you need just an extra boost to get everything going again.you are beautiful to us no matter you think you see in the mirror.i hope you can sleep tonight without much pain.things will turn around tomorrow,just wait and see.as my dad would say"keep your pretty little head up." we all love soooooo much.love,aunt bonnie
Good Morning Sweetie............
This SUCKS!!! I don't even know what to say except that I love you!!
I'll call Marc tonight and find out what happened today at the hospital. I work today and then I'm off the rest of the week, if you're in the hospital, I'll come up tomorrow and be with you tomorrow.... k? And of course, if you need me, I'm just a phone call away!!
Lots of prayers coming your way..
Betsey
Hi Sandi. I hope today was better than yesterday... and, I am keeping you in my prayers for strength, healing and joy through these times... sounds like you're family (like your aunts and Zac...) is helping to supply your joy and lift you up :)
I read your request for blood donor ID #s and wanted to let you know that several weeks ago OCSEA's Wellness Committee (an l-m staff group) had organized a Blood Drive for Tuesday, Dec. 30.
Anyways, after discovering your blog Monday, we asked the Red Cross if our Dec. 30 donors could provide their donor id #s for you.
See below for the Red Cross response to our Sandi Davis, Union Benefits Trust. She's the committee member who coordinated the drive and is following up on how we can help you now... and, hopefully, in the near future:
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"Yes- we will do whatever we can to make sure this drive goes well and you patient gets the proper recognition. If you would like, I can make a poster using the images from her blog and make it an official drive and make it big for the next time. We are only able to have two team members staffed for this drive, so let’s wait to reach out to all the other areas for this drive. Like I said before, I don’t want to make a customer service issue and have your donors waiting around to donate! Let’s not get any more than 20 on your schedule to be sure… Thanks, Sandi
Jennifer C. Clark "
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So, due to Red Cross staffing, the Wellness committee has to limit the upcoming blood drive to 20 people as was originally scheduled.
However, after 54 days OCSEA will be able to a bigger drive solely for your benefit. Would that be okay with you if the committee is able pull that off? :) We'll likely ask union staff as well as members who live and work in the area to donate.
When you feel up to it, please drop me a line, call me (800-266-5615, ext. 4734), or post something on your blog (I'll check it if that's easier for you) and let me and Sandi D. (614-508-2241) know where / how we can get this donor ID # info to you for your insurance company. I tried calling your home, but I think we may have an old number.
I hope this blood donor news provides a little lift for you today. :)
Peace...
Jenny Goldberg
jgoldberg@ocsea.org
800-266-5615, ext. 4734
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